I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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