He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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