Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
