do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
