he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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