you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
