I love black thongs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
