Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
