eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
