You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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