He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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