My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
