I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
