I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
