Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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