you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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