Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
