my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
