Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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