So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
