Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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