how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
