I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize