i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
