I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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