I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
