just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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