DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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