Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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