just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
