Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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