Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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