First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
