its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
