I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize