She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
