"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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