some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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