we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
