u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
