dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
