Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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