3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
