How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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