her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
