Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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