Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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