Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
