make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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