rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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