we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
