I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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