i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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