AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
