I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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