oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
