my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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