the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
