loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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