They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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