dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
