Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
