you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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