That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
